You haven't lived until you have braved a grocery store with three small children.
I know that many of my readers are now saying quiet prayers of thanks that they have never lived. Cowards, all of you. I frequent the grocery store once a week, sometimes twice of week with all three children in tow. My husband doesn't come. He's working. Somebody's got the fund this operation.
The grocery store excursion usually starts Monday morning at breakfast.
Hannah: "Can I have some more cereal?"
Mommy: "Nope. You ate the last of it. We're going grocery shopping."
Hannah: "Can I have some pretzels."
Mommy: "Nope. They are all gone. We're going grocery shopping."
Hannah: "But I'm hungry."
Mommy: "Then let's go grocery shopping."
Hannah: "I'm too hungry to get dressed."
Mommy: "Then we'd better go buy some food before you starve."
So, we all get ready. I can get ready to walk out in door in 25 minutes. This includes shower, dressed, breakfast, hair done, make-up on, and wallet in hand. The children cannot get themselves ready. So, multiply my 25 minutes by 4 (myself plus 3 kids) and that is 1 hour and 40 minutes. Giving myself another 20 minutes to deal with crying, locating the debit card that Katie has invariably pulled out of my wallet, and to redress anyone who pees on themselves before we actually leave the house, and it will take us just over two hours to get ready to go to the grocery store.
We finally load up and drive away. We frequent Publix. Publix is a chain here in the southern states. The stores are small and clean. They offer a good selection of organic foods and they carry out the groceries for you. That's right: good, old-fashioned baggers. Publix prices are a little higher but it's worth it. I really like shopping at Publix. Up until a months ago the kids did great. No crying. No fussing. They would just eat their complimentary cookie from the bakery and be happy. In the past few weeks, my ability to shop with three children has deteriorated. People used to compliment me on my great kids and my ability to keep it all together. Today wasn't exactly like that.
The crying started before we exited the minivan. I'm not an expert but I'm gonna say that is a bad sign. So, we cry all the way into the store. Once inside, I put Elijah into a baby shopping cart. It has a baby seat that lays back. It looks like a carseat. He get grumpy in the sitting up seat. He's good and probably won't cry the entire time. I calm the girls down and they both opt to ride in the basket. We go to the bakery and get a cookie. So far so good. We get all the dry goods and head toward the milk. Katie freaks out. Hannah starts crying. I don't know what the problem is and I don't care. I calm them down again. "We're almost done. Look at a book. Let's go get some eggs." Then Katie asks to get out. Note to self: Katie does not want out. She wants to be carried. I get Katie out with no intention to carry her. She throws herself on the floor. I put her back in the cart. She kicks Hannah. They are both screaming.
At this point I become very painfully aware of the number of people looking at us. An employee stops me, "Would your girls like some free balloons?" Hmm, let's think. Screaming like a banchee, throwing myself on the floor, and kicking my sister = a BIG RED BALLOON.
We proceed to the checkout without the free balloons. We checkout. The crying subsides. The girls get out of the basket. I pick up Katie and hold Hannah's hand. The bagger looks at me and says, "Are you going to get this or do you want me to help you out?" I look at the cart full of groceries, Elijah in the cart, Katie on my hip, and Hannah standing next to me and I say, "Uh, yeah. We're going to need some help." Sheesh, that's why we go to Publix.
3 comments:
I remember when Mary E was a newborn, Jacob was 2 and David was 5. We were in Walmart with David walking and holding the buggy, Jacob IN the buggy, and me nursing Mary E as we walked through the store doing our shopping (she had been screaming so I fed her- by the time you nurse a third, you can do it ANYwhere!). A lady walked by and said, "Oh my, aren't they so sweet and well-behaved???" and I thought, "Follow us aournd for about 5 more minutes, and I swear we WON'T look like this!!"
hee hee. I feel ya sister. I add the extra "fun" of juggling my coupons..but then again, I dont have that extra third one to mix things up! So funny.
I shop at Publix too, but I go for the better quality food, NOT the customer service. At least at the store I go to, on that particular shift, the employees seem to go around trying very hard to have an APPEARANCE of friendliness, but times when I have actually needed their help, they have flubbed it up. I have been looking for an item, had the Publix employee offer to help, told the Publix employee what I was looking for, had the Publix employee tell me that they don't carry that item, then found the item right in front of me. I have also heard from them that they have NEVER carried items that I have bought there multiple times. Usually when they force themselves upon me the most is when I really don't need any help and I just want them to leave me alone so I can quickly get my items, pay, and leave. Granted, some of the employees ARE legitimately friendly, and I have had better experiences with a different shift, but some of the people are just idiots (although I'm sure they go home and tell their friends the same thing about me). :) Thank goodness they FINALLY got a cart return in the parking lot!
I think the particular store you go to must be better than mine. I have been trying to be nicer to the people, though, especially since I realized that I see the same people all the time and they surely recognize me. I had to shift my focus and try to think in terms of having a RELATIONSHIP with these people, which is an uncomfortable thought for me, but it is the reality. Well, enough about that...
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